What is queer identity? – A summary from detransitioned voices

Detransitioned people describe “queer identity” as a socio-political label that has drifted far from simple same-sex attraction or gender non-conformity. In their accounts, the word “queer” is now used to create an umbrella that obscures clear sexual orientation and turns rebellion against norms into an identity in itself.

1. A catch-all that avoids clarity
   Several detrans women say the term let them sidestep naming their actual sexuality. “I identified with the term queer since it was open to whatever gender… after desisting I re-identified myself as a lesbian” – fir3dyk3 source [citation:52659b1e-c116-45b7-ad8c-adca49369247]. Others note that dating within trans and gender-nonconforming circles made the question of sexual orientation “not really come up because we were obviously too advanced for labels” – bronyfication source [citation:8e966c6e-af34-4f7a-a05c-f30e63525315].

2. Rebellion as identity
   Detrans men emphasize that “queer” has become a politics of opposing norms for its own sake. “It’s going against the norm for the sake of going against the norm even if people have to be harmed along the way… the more harm the better because harm goes against the healthy norm” – Boniface222 source [citation:ca1ca107-05cd-4cc0-91da-7123f5e5862d].

3. A slur, not a celebration
   Many argue the word still carries its old sting. “To describe one’s own sexuality or identity as weird or out of place reinforces the negative connotations it has always carried… how can a group want to be seen as normal when they call themselves weird?” – pollytato source [citation:a74803cb-e940-4826-a0bc-b1009fa84f6a].

4. Separating non-conformity from ideology
   Detransitioners stress that being gender non-conforming or same-sex attracted does not require adopting “queer” as an identity. “I’m a feminine gay man… I share nothing in common with radical teenage girls going through a rebellious stage… I don’t believe in the regressive ideology behind a lot of what ‘being queer’ means” – Hedera_Thorn source [citation:88ef97b4-1ac1-45ea-8a12-a2c4a5e4501f].

In short, these firsthand accounts portray “queer identity” as a political construct that often muddles rather than clarifies who someone is, encouraging rebellion against norms—even harmful ones—while obscuring the simpler realities of same-sex attraction or gender non-conformity.